Ancestors of John Tweedy, rejoice! The self-chilling “MagCan,” a staple of Ionath Krakens linebacker John Tweedy and his brother Ju, has leapt from the pages of science fiction and into the modern world.
Joseph Company International is pimping the dream of every hapless beverage-imbiber presented with a cooler- and fridge-free dilemma — the “Chill Can,” containing a brew that cools its own damn self. Sadly for John & Ju, this super-mega-awesome product doesn’t contain beer, but rather “Fizzics Sparkling Cold Brew Coffee.”
The boys at Joseph Company International even put together a scintillating video on how to properly twist that can to maximize your cool beverage experience. Remember: half a turn or three-quarters of a turn only! Excess turning can result in death!
PREVIOUS ATTEMPTS TO CHILL THE HECK OUT
The self-chilling can has long been sought after by Big Beverage. As far back as 1997, Pepsi tried to release a can that could bring the beverage temp down to 34 degrees Fahrenheit. Sadly, there were some concerns about the environmental effects:
Wanna sip? Not so fast. The hydrofluorocarbon gas (HFC 134a) used to chill the beverage is one of the most powerful man-made greenhouse gases, a whopping 1,300 times worse than the dreaded carbon dioxide (CO2) for heating up the planet.
Pepsi worked with none other than the Joseph Company on that effort, which turned into a very expensive failure. They weren’t able to bring the product to market in a sustainable way.
Fast-forward to 2012, when a company called West Coast Chillers (now out of business) gave the self-chilling can a go. Their product, a self-chilling energy drink, did not survive, but they did make one of the worst promotion videos the galaxy has ever seen. Thank goodness YouTube has preserved this marketing masterpiece.
For all of you erstwhile engineers out there trying to make like Ronny & Bobby & Ricky & Mike, we at the GFL hope you continue to cool it down.
The Galactic Football League is a best-selling space opera series that combines scifi, crime and sports.