The GFL is full of very, very big sentients. The elite athletes of the six species that make up the sport are all large for their kind. Put 22 of them together on a gridiron, and it’s surprising the entire stadium doesn’t tilt.
So in a land of giants, just how big is Ionath Kraken’s quarterback Quentin Barnes? Is he the size of, say, Shaquile O’Neal (in the picture atop this article, that’s Shaq standing next to 6-foot-3 Goran Dragic. Does Goran look 6-foot-3 in that picture? No. No, he does not).
By the standards of pro football in the year 2687, Quentin is big for his position, which means by 2017 standards he is an absolute giant. At 7 feet tall (2.13 meters), Quentin would be tied for the tallest player in NFL history with defensive tackle Richard Sligh, who was was drafted by the Oakland Raiders in 1967. You just don’t see people that tall in the NFL.
How about weight-wise? At 380 pounds (172.4 kilos), Quentin would be among the heaviest players on the field today. His weight matches that of William “the Refrigerator” Perry, who was a star defensive tackle (and sometimes fullback) for the Super Bowl XX-winning Chicago Bears in 1986.
Now this all sounds good and fine, right? We see giant-sized men on the field with other giant-sized men, and while we know they are big, it looks pretty normal. To put it in perspective, I found some videos of four people who are in the ballpark of Quentin’s size. Prepare to be shocked, you guys.
OLIVER RICHTERS
Mr. Richters is a Dutch bodybuilder. At 7-foot-2 and 320 pounds, he’s a bit taller than Quentin and sixty pounds lighter. To give you an idea on how big Quentin would be in our day and age, here’s an awesome video of Richters dressed up like an Orc, walking through a grocery store:
I would be more than happy to let that dude cut in front of me in line. As big as that man is, remember that Quentin is almost 20% heavier. That’s a ton of mass.
JOHN KRAHN
Mr. Krahn made waves a couple of years back as a 7-foot-tall, 440-pound high school senior. Yes, high school senior. When he was playing, he was officially the largest football payer in the world. The year before, when he was a svelte 415 pounds, the San Diego Union Tribune did a short piece on him that exhibits how big this dude is:
DONDRE HARRIS:
At 7-feet, 380 pounds, Mr. Harris is the same height and weight as Quentin. Harris has a bit more padding than Quentin has, for certain, but it’s mesmerizing to see the size of someone this close to Q.
MARTYN FORD:
Mr. Ford is a bodybuilder. At 6-foot-8, 320 pounds, he’s quite the intimidating package. He’s smaller and lighter than Quentin, but I think he’s probably the closest to my vision of Q.
Ford’s Instagram feed if quite popular, and here’s a video of him paying the Iron Price.
Add four inches on Ford, and with the corresponding weight increase, and this is probably the kind of physique that Quentin would have. Remember even in 2687, Quentin is a freak of nature, so this seems to be the best fit.
Not the streamlined quarterback body you expected? Welcome to the GFL, pal, where the weak get eaten. Literally.
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